Beard Judging

Alright folks, it's time to find out who's got the best beard in Wirestone. Below you'll find a picture of each candidate and link to their specific judging form. I know some of these images may be hard to look at but please do your best. Try to be as objective as you can. You can click on each image to get a larger view. Please give yourself enough time to judge all the beards, there is a lot of hair to get through.

Good luck!

Boise Office

Judge Chad Brusse

Judge James Cooper

Judge Tim Cox

Judge Greg Davis

Judge David Goodin

Judge Jason Haberman

Judge Mike Higgins

Judge Blake Holgate

Judge Jeff Kush

Judge Jeremy Lanningham

Judge Brad Mitchell

Judge Chris Schoeppach

Judge Lee Scott

Judge Christian Shiverick

Judge Stan Smith

Judge Andy Stauffer

Judge Justin Sterling

Judge Tim Willis

Chicago Office

Judge Nick Anderson

Judge Peter Becker

Judge Chris Carrier

Judge Ross Freedman

Judge Russell Jackson

Fort Collins Office

Judge Seth Annis

Judge Bob Donovan

Judge Patrick Kresl

Sacramento Office

Judge Steve Goodin

Judge Joel Tell

San Diego Office

Judge Dylan Barmmer

Hierarchy of Beards

Here's a fantastic "Family Tree" of beards.

View the large image. (Via BoingBoing)

You can't even notice

Milk was bad choice

Wolfman!

This one goes out to Nick.

Sweet sounds of...WTF

Turn up your speakers, sit back, relax, and enjoys the soothing sounds of whatever the hell it is that this guy is doing.

Don't miss the ending, it's a tear jerker.

Follicular Homicide

If you stop and shave that beard
We will regard you as weird

Or maybe “weak” is a better word
Because by now you all have heard

The Realest Men, they all rock stubble
And then they go out and find trouble

Or maybe trouble comes to them
Like in some old badass Western

Clint and Chuck and even Van Damne
All know what makes A Real Ass Man

So don ye beards and grow ye whiskers
Or we’ll come rock you out yer knickers!

– Dylan Barmmer

Week 5

Theme Song

A message from Jeff

Hey everyone! I've been perusing the blog for all of those great beard photos. Pretty freakin' amazing what everyone is doing and how everyone is looking. It really does make me proud to be part of this company and especially of this group. Those who have the balls to see this through are really kickin' ass. Keep up the awesome hair growth and grow it proud!

Time to sign off. It's hard to type a long message on a cell phone with a nerve damaged hand while in bed.

– Jeff

Week 4

Beards and Ballots

Super Tuesday, and the polls are jammed
to see who will be our next Head Man

Vote for This or vote for That
blah, blah, blah...rat a tat tat

But there's one thing that will not Change,
and it's a manly, facial mange

Conservative cuz it saves razors
yet radical, these flavor savers

At the polls or in the woods
a bearded man is so damn good

– Dylan Barmmer

Week 3

Skittles Eating Beard

Jerms found this little skittle.

Beards Make You a Man

Thanks to Hootch McGee for this great find.

Advice on growing beards

Good find Jason.

Balding and Bearding

Take a look and you will see
That balding dudes like you and me

Grow hair real fast outside our skull
In fact it grows out of control

Chalk it up to Manly Genes
And ladies, you know what that means

So here's to dudes with hairy grills
And balding domes that scream 'no frills!'

Here's to bearding while you're balding
Enough to look like Alec Baldwin

– Dylan Barmmer

Question of the day

Week 2

The Ballad of the Beard

Any man can grow a beard
in fact to not is kinda weird

But a beard alone is not enough
to show you've got The Manly Stuff

The hair must grow on front and back
and launch an all-out fur attack

It must be course, it must be thick
it must engulf your manly...face

Any man can grow a beard
and if you don't, you will be jeered

– Dylan Barmmer

Week 1

In the words of Steve Goodin "It has begun!"

Brave souls

Here are the few and the proud who have committed to growing glorious beards for all to behold in awe and wonderment. Sign up today!

Registration

Contest Rules

This is a BEARD contest. All contestants must be clean shaven on Monday October 13, 2008. All facial hair must be removed (this includes, but is not limited to mustaches, beards, goatees, muttonchops, chinstraps, neck mullets, John Waters pencil thins, soul patches, sideburns that extend below the earlobe, and Van Dykes).

For the duration of nine weeks the burly beards will be grown for the world to cower in trepidation. There will be weekly Beard Checkpoint Days with progress photos taken. Points will be awarded for each weekly Checkpoint so don’t miss out!

Beards are defined as facial hair grown from ear to ear. We understand some of you may have patches of reclusive follicles. For you we recommend a regimen of manly activities such as chopping wood, stalking and killing small animals, leaving the toilet seat up, and wearing more flannel. Be a man, grow your Beard and be proud!

The use of performance enhancing hormones or coloring agents is forbidden.

Winners will be announced sometime between 12/15/08 and 12/19/08.

Though the Beard Checkpoints are not mandatory (we believe in the honor system) they are a great opportunity to encourage your Bearded brethren during the growing season.

While we do not endorse trash-talking or making disparaging comments of any kind about another grower’s Beard, there are unsubstantiated medical theories that Beard Abuse stimulates follicle growth.